I sit with cup of steaming coffee, wrapped in blankets in the crisp, almost damp, morning. I hear honking to the west - Roger's favorite sound. Most of the geese fly in formation and I am reminded of that stupid joke: "Why is the line of geese sometimes longer on one side than the other?" Answer: "Because there is an odd number of geese."
But then I notice there are 2 geese that are flying along with the flock but are choosing to not fly in formation. The others draft along in neat formation - one behind the other. And I wonder why the lone geese don't just join on in. Its so much easier to fly that way.
Upon reflection, I realize that I am like one of the lone geese. I could easily fly in formation like most the other geese. But instead, I choose to carve my own path. It is harder to fly alone - the wind resistance and all. But that's just how I've always been.
Not long after they pass overhead and I hear, boom, boom, boom-boom-boom. Perhaps this is why the two have chosen to fly alone. Perhaps they have flown in formation before and realized their chances for survival were better on their own. Sometimes, what's harder, is wiser.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Do You Remember This?
Babe, I love you so-o-o... I want you to know. That I-I-I'm gonna miss your lo-o-ove, the minute you walk out that do-or. Please don't go. Don't go. Don't GO-O-O-O-O. Please don't go. Don't go. Don't go away...
I was in the bookstore at the college I work for when this song sprung forth from the boombox. I don't know about you but it brought me back to the days of bellbottoms, hot pants and white vinyl go go boots. And like most pleasantly annoying songs, it stuck in my head all day and made me giggle. I found the song on youtube and kept playing it over and over - much to the chagrin of my co-worker Cassandra. But it just had to get out.
At our house, our ipod is loaded with "Breakfast Music" with catchy yet annoying favorites such as: You Can Ring My Bell by Anita Ward, Another One Bites the Dust by Queen, Nights on Broadway by the Bee Gees and Big Balls by ACDC (I give myself a mommy demerit for this one. But I just can't help myself.) etc. You can only imagine how these songs "inspire" our three boys ages 11, 9, and 7!
There's nothing like a good song. I grew up scarf dancing with my mom in the living room. Later, when I worked at Pagliai's Pizza in Mankato in college, I used to play one of my favorite songs over and over again: Neunundneunzig Luft Ballons (99 Red Balloons) by Nena. Being fluent in German, I knew every word. The poor patrons had to hear that song the whole time they ate their pizza. But I did it anyway. It helped make up for the lack of tips.
What songs get stuck in your head and where do they take you? What questions did you used to ask your Magic Eight Ball and how many times did it take to get the "right" answer? I can't wait to hear!
Mixed Media Maven
P.S. Does anyone remember the No Jelly candy bar or Koogle peanut butter that came in flavors like chocolate and vanilla? I have yet to meet someone who remembers the No Jelly. How about Bubs Daddys? Pop rocks? Oh, I'm really on a roll now!
I was in the bookstore at the college I work for when this song sprung forth from the boombox. I don't know about you but it brought me back to the days of bellbottoms, hot pants and white vinyl go go boots. And like most pleasantly annoying songs, it stuck in my head all day and made me giggle. I found the song on youtube and kept playing it over and over - much to the chagrin of my co-worker Cassandra. But it just had to get out.
At our house, our ipod is loaded with "Breakfast Music" with catchy yet annoying favorites such as: You Can Ring My Bell by Anita Ward, Another One Bites the Dust by Queen, Nights on Broadway by the Bee Gees and Big Balls by ACDC (I give myself a mommy demerit for this one. But I just can't help myself.) etc. You can only imagine how these songs "inspire" our three boys ages 11, 9, and 7!
There's nothing like a good song. I grew up scarf dancing with my mom in the living room. Later, when I worked at Pagliai's Pizza in Mankato in college, I used to play one of my favorite songs over and over again: Neunundneunzig Luft Ballons (99 Red Balloons) by Nena. Being fluent in German, I knew every word. The poor patrons had to hear that song the whole time they ate their pizza. But I did it anyway. It helped make up for the lack of tips.
What songs get stuck in your head and where do they take you? What questions did you used to ask your Magic Eight Ball and how many times did it take to get the "right" answer? I can't wait to hear!
Mixed Media Maven
P.S. Does anyone remember the No Jelly candy bar or Koogle peanut butter that came in flavors like chocolate and vanilla? I have yet to meet someone who remembers the No Jelly. How about Bubs Daddys? Pop rocks? Oh, I'm really on a roll now!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Answers
I am behind in my e-course. But last night I read the time management post. I had to. I've been going around all week asking myself, How do I carve out time to make art? Something's got to give, but what? I can't take time away from my kids. I can't be irresponsible and quit my job. My boss will not let me reduce my hours - believe me, I don't need to ask. I am completely and totally committed to doing my art, but where will I make the cut?
This past Sunday I decorated my first cigar keepsake box with my best friend Charisse.To my delight, it turned out great! I even decided I that I am a mixed media artist. I had a hunch before I started on the box and now it is confirmed.
Part of my hunch came from the fact that I loved so many things - photography, writing, painting, collage. Yet I am not a purest. (I am one of the few who gave kudos to James Frey for embellishing the truth in his memoir A Million Little Pieces. It made the story better and that's what I wanted: a good read.) Yes, I can take photos that inspire me. But when I show them to other people, I don't get the big, "Wow!" that I'm looking for. I honestly think it's because stunning photographs are a dime a dozen. They're everywhere. (For all the purist photographers out there: I totally admire you for the type of artist you are and I appreciate and love great photography.) But for me, straight photography was missing something. It was only a partial expression of talents.
This reminded me that I had identified three types of art, all of which would constitute who I am as an artist. I just hadn't imagined using them all together until now. I imagine painting atop a photograph, inserting words into some paintings, plastering buttons and other found items on my paintings and brushing over them with an opaque paint. Yes, mixed media allows me to put my own print on each piece. It makes each one uniquely me.
So, how will I make the time to be a mixed media artist? Three things sunk in from Kelly's class. First, I need to clarify my goals, break them into small steps and put them on my calendar. I had already figured out the first two steps but had yet to list them on my calendar. Very important difference! Second, plan a schedule only one week out every Sunday and stick to it. Know that my schedule will vary as projects and demands vary. Be open for the changes. And finally, Kelly confirmed for me what I already knew but had made me feel irresponsible in the past: when you feel the passion, follow it even at the expense of balance. The inspiration will eventually ebb and you can catch up then.
This got me thinking. How will I explain the lack of balance to my kids? They will be impacted too. I have come up with three strategies: get them to bed on time and spend one hour each evening creating in my studio. In fact, I will designate the time 8:30 - 9:30 so that I won't be too tired. I will tell the boys that the clock will dictate bedtime regardless of whether on not they have eaten their snack, brushed their teeth, etc. This will actually be a good lesson to them as I will be demonstrating discipline and time management skills. As they get older and stay up later, I may allow them to be in the studio with me making creations of their own on one condition: they are quiet.My boys are very gifted artists themselves - even my stepson. Maybe this will allow them to develop yet another skill and passion in their lives. Finally, and most importantly, I will not make excuses or feel guilty for the huge flows of inspiration and resulting imbalance. My family will just have to learn how to pick up the pieces. Here's what I will tell them:
Being an artist
Is like being a farmer.
You gotta make hay while the sun shines -
Sometimes until the cows come home...
They will catch on. And so will I.
I Am Mixed Media
This past Sunday I decorated my first cigar keepsake box with my best friend Charisse.To my delight, it turned out great! I even decided I that I am a mixed media artist. I had a hunch before I started on the box and now it is confirmed.
Part of my hunch came from the fact that I loved so many things - photography, writing, painting, collage. Yet I am not a purest. (I am one of the few who gave kudos to James Frey for embellishing the truth in his memoir A Million Little Pieces. It made the story better and that's what I wanted: a good read.) Yes, I can take photos that inspire me. But when I show them to other people, I don't get the big, "Wow!" that I'm looking for. I honestly think it's because stunning photographs are a dime a dozen. They're everywhere. (For all the purist photographers out there: I totally admire you for the type of artist you are and I appreciate and love great photography.) But for me, straight photography was missing something. It was only a partial expression of talents.
This reminded me that I had identified three types of art, all of which would constitute who I am as an artist. I just hadn't imagined using them all together until now. I imagine painting atop a photograph, inserting words into some paintings, plastering buttons and other found items on my paintings and brushing over them with an opaque paint. Yes, mixed media allows me to put my own print on each piece. It makes each one uniquely me.
So, how will I make the time to be a mixed media artist? Three things sunk in from Kelly's class. First, I need to clarify my goals, break them into small steps and put them on my calendar. I had already figured out the first two steps but had yet to list them on my calendar. Very important difference! Second, plan a schedule only one week out every Sunday and stick to it. Know that my schedule will vary as projects and demands vary. Be open for the changes. And finally, Kelly confirmed for me what I already knew but had made me feel irresponsible in the past: when you feel the passion, follow it even at the expense of balance. The inspiration will eventually ebb and you can catch up then.
This got me thinking. How will I explain the lack of balance to my kids? They will be impacted too. I have come up with three strategies: get them to bed on time and spend one hour each evening creating in my studio. In fact, I will designate the time 8:30 - 9:30 so that I won't be too tired. I will tell the boys that the clock will dictate bedtime regardless of whether on not they have eaten their snack, brushed their teeth, etc. This will actually be a good lesson to them as I will be demonstrating discipline and time management skills. As they get older and stay up later, I may allow them to be in the studio with me making creations of their own on one condition: they are quiet.My boys are very gifted artists themselves - even my stepson. Maybe this will allow them to develop yet another skill and passion in their lives. Finally, and most importantly, I will not make excuses or feel guilty for the huge flows of inspiration and resulting imbalance. My family will just have to learn how to pick up the pieces. Here's what I will tell them:
Being an artist
Is like being a farmer.
You gotta make hay while the sun shines -
Sometimes until the cows come home...
They will catch on. And so will I.
I Am Mixed Media
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Ready for Success
Good Morning!
Last night I was able to talk to each of my parents about some very touchy subjects. For the first time ever, I was able to remain calm, patient, understanding and emapthetic while at the same time, giving them helpful strategies and tools to manage the situation. I was even able to bounce false accusations back at the accuser without coming off as defensive, angry or hurt. My dad remarked that my reframing of the situation was so helpful and that he has learned so much from me and that I am practically like a therapist to him. That meant a lot. Yet, it wasn't as if I was a child seeking long-sought recognition from a parent. Instead it confirmed my awareness of the grown, wise woman I've become because of all my hard work and therapy. It was deeply satisfying to not be triggered by the same old stuff that has triggered me in the past and I was grateful to be able to be of such help to my father.
Just a few weeks ago, I may not have been quite able to manage this in the same manner. But I am now deeply confident and happy with myself. I actually have arrived at a place where I love myself through and through for the very first time in my life. (I have been working diligently on this for thirteen years! Watch for my book of poems about the early days and how therapy made such a shift in my life.) It feels so good to walk around without my victim hanging out. I am only a victim when I choose to be, which is rare these days because I am intentionally noticing when my victim tries to show up and I'm not letting it do the driving anymore.
The best part is that not only do I know, not think, that I will be a successful artist. I haven't one doubt about it even though I'm not 100% sure what my art (in the broadest sense) will look like. I like being open about it and letting it evolve indefinitely. I no longer feel the need to align myself with one category, i.e. painter, photographer, writer. I now know that creativity involves self-expression and that, as you grow, the need to express different things in different manners changes. It is a beautiful thing to accept all aspects of myself and I am eager to see what springs forth.
I also know, not think, that I am finally able to hold the financial piece that comes with success - again for the first time ever. Why? Because you can't blow your money when you truly love yourself. You can ony make healthy choices with it because our choices reflect how we feel about ourselves just as how, when we love ourselves, we no longer let people treat us poorly.
Before, I always had the uncomfortable feeling that I would be somewhat irresponsible with success. But now, I have broad enough shoulders to hold it. I will not feel arrogant or let my success go to my head. Instead, I expect to feel much the same as I do know - solidly content and happy and pleasantly pleased with my accomplishments - only it will be multiplied in a very calm and satisfying way. It will feel so good to pay things off and save more for college and retirement. It will feel so good to do good things for myself and others. It will feel so good to sponsor some children through World Vision, contribute to the Humane Society, Planned Parenthood and other wonderful organizations.
Thank you Lord for the gift of self-love. I know I have earned it but I couldn't have done it without You.
I Am Write (Among Other Things)
Last night I was able to talk to each of my parents about some very touchy subjects. For the first time ever, I was able to remain calm, patient, understanding and emapthetic while at the same time, giving them helpful strategies and tools to manage the situation. I was even able to bounce false accusations back at the accuser without coming off as defensive, angry or hurt. My dad remarked that my reframing of the situation was so helpful and that he has learned so much from me and that I am practically like a therapist to him. That meant a lot. Yet, it wasn't as if I was a child seeking long-sought recognition from a parent. Instead it confirmed my awareness of the grown, wise woman I've become because of all my hard work and therapy. It was deeply satisfying to not be triggered by the same old stuff that has triggered me in the past and I was grateful to be able to be of such help to my father.
Just a few weeks ago, I may not have been quite able to manage this in the same manner. But I am now deeply confident and happy with myself. I actually have arrived at a place where I love myself through and through for the very first time in my life. (I have been working diligently on this for thirteen years! Watch for my book of poems about the early days and how therapy made such a shift in my life.) It feels so good to walk around without my victim hanging out. I am only a victim when I choose to be, which is rare these days because I am intentionally noticing when my victim tries to show up and I'm not letting it do the driving anymore.
The best part is that not only do I know, not think, that I will be a successful artist. I haven't one doubt about it even though I'm not 100% sure what my art (in the broadest sense) will look like. I like being open about it and letting it evolve indefinitely. I no longer feel the need to align myself with one category, i.e. painter, photographer, writer. I now know that creativity involves self-expression and that, as you grow, the need to express different things in different manners changes. It is a beautiful thing to accept all aspects of myself and I am eager to see what springs forth.
I also know, not think, that I am finally able to hold the financial piece that comes with success - again for the first time ever. Why? Because you can't blow your money when you truly love yourself. You can ony make healthy choices with it because our choices reflect how we feel about ourselves just as how, when we love ourselves, we no longer let people treat us poorly.
Before, I always had the uncomfortable feeling that I would be somewhat irresponsible with success. But now, I have broad enough shoulders to hold it. I will not feel arrogant or let my success go to my head. Instead, I expect to feel much the same as I do know - solidly content and happy and pleasantly pleased with my accomplishments - only it will be multiplied in a very calm and satisfying way. It will feel so good to pay things off and save more for college and retirement. It will feel so good to do good things for myself and others. It will feel so good to sponsor some children through World Vision, contribute to the Humane Society, Planned Parenthood and other wonderful organizations.
Thank you Lord for the gift of self-love. I know I have earned it but I couldn't have done it without You.
I Am Write (Among Other Things)
Friday, June 25, 2010
When Words Are Not Enough...
I just hooked up with an old friend of mine. She shared that her husband had had a severe stroke and was now living in a nursing home, both of their fathers had died on the SAME DAY and her daughter died of a chronic lung disease in January. All this in just a two year time span! It really put some perspective on my life.
Please pray for Jan. She is struggling with her faith and could use your prayers.
Thanks!
IAW
Please pray for Jan. She is struggling with her faith and could use your prayers.
Thanks!
IAW
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Birthing a Game Plan
Hello Fellow Bloggers!
Just a quick note to say that the growth is happenin'! In fact, it's happening so fast that my fiance says all I ever talk about is the e-course I'm taking. It's true. But when you only have 15 minutes of quality time a day, I feel it's my responsibility to let him know that I'm changing. Otherwise, he'll wake up some day next to someone he doesn't even know!
My kids have been gone this week so it will be interesting when they get back to see how I carve out my e-course time. Interestingly enough, my mom has invited them to spend a week at her cabin in mid July so I will again have another good chunk of time with less responsibilities. This is not random. The Lord has arranged it that way. He knows more than anyone that I need room for this growth. He wants to support me in living into my Purpose.
It reminds me, in a sad way, of a client I once had as a social worker. Her husband had shot her in the arm and then shot himself to death in front of the children. You could see the bullet underneath her skin and she explained that the doctor said it would eventually work its way out on its own.
It's the only thing I can think of to describe where I'm at. It's comin' out whether I feel ready or not so I must make room somehow. Scary? Yes. Managable? I think so, though I'm not sure what it will look like exactly. I've had to accomodate a lot of things in my life that weren't planned so I'm sure I can do it again.
I will take a deep breath. I will walk around the block. I will take a bath and soak. Just to slow down and listen. The game plan will come.
IAW
Just a quick note to say that the growth is happenin'! In fact, it's happening so fast that my fiance says all I ever talk about is the e-course I'm taking. It's true. But when you only have 15 minutes of quality time a day, I feel it's my responsibility to let him know that I'm changing. Otherwise, he'll wake up some day next to someone he doesn't even know!
My kids have been gone this week so it will be interesting when they get back to see how I carve out my e-course time. Interestingly enough, my mom has invited them to spend a week at her cabin in mid July so I will again have another good chunk of time with less responsibilities. This is not random. The Lord has arranged it that way. He knows more than anyone that I need room for this growth. He wants to support me in living into my Purpose.
It reminds me, in a sad way, of a client I once had as a social worker. Her husband had shot her in the arm and then shot himself to death in front of the children. You could see the bullet underneath her skin and she explained that the doctor said it would eventually work its way out on its own.
It's the only thing I can think of to describe where I'm at. It's comin' out whether I feel ready or not so I must make room somehow. Scary? Yes. Managable? I think so, though I'm not sure what it will look like exactly. I've had to accomodate a lot of things in my life that weren't planned so I'm sure I can do it again.
I will take a deep breath. I will walk around the block. I will take a bath and soak. Just to slow down and listen. The game plan will come.
IAW
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Taming the Fire Hose
Hello Universe,
I always feel funny at my greeting because I only have one follower so far. Hi Jim! So today I am posting to the Universe with faith that my messages will begin to land.
I have recently found the e-course I've been looking for (Kelly Rae Robert's Flying Lessons) as I have sat in the fruit bowl like an overripe banana. As I suspected, it has unearthed the most tremendous flow of self-discovery and truth that I have ever experienced. It has been such a catalyst for me that I feel a bit like the BP oil spill. I'm comin' out whether the world is ready for me or not. Whether I am ready for me or not. (I am not. But, according to Kelly, nobody ever is.) So then how do I handle the simultaneous eruptions that are exploding from within me? A book. A column. Painting. Photography. Blogging. And that's just to name a few.
How do you control the flow of the BP oil spill? It is bigger than anyone can imagine or accept. And it doesn't care that it's killing all the fish. The answer? You suck up as much as you can and divert the rest. Much like the oil spill, I am not able to quit my job to try and do ALL of these things at once. In fact, if I really think about it I don't even want to. I want to savor every step and absorb every drop along the way and schedule the rest for later.
So how do you get a fire hose to trickle like a sprinkler so that you don't kill the flowers? The answer: there has to be a place where the overflow gets directed. There also has to be a very strong nozzle to divert it where it needs to go. Today I will purchase my Personal Growth calendar. It will have a page for a long list where the excess water can be diverted. Each time I develop an idea, a task, a goal, I will write it down. I will then prioritize the list and transfer it to the calendar. I will write in pencil so I can change things as my priorities shift.
Truth is, I like the fire hose. It feels good to get unstopped. I want so badly to let it flow and not have to restrict it anymore. But I know that if I do it will kill the flowers. So I have to learn to manage my dreams not keep them in. I am managing them so that they can live, flourish and blossom. Though it feels a lot like holding them in, in reality I am letting them leak out. I am no longer thinking about my purpose without following it. Instead, I am taking small steps in order to let the flowers bloom. Maybe I will find a photo of a very delicate looking flower and tape it to my kitchen window to remind me to tread with care. To tend the flowers not kill them with my hose.
I will buy a plant today. One that requires a little water every day. And as I water it each morning, I will take note of the nice, soft soil, look for new sprouts and pluck dead leaves that impede its growth. It will need to be an indoor plant so I can tend it all year round.
I have no idea which plant it will be. I am completely open and excited to see what it is. It might be something totally unexpected. But I will learn to love this plant over time and see what makes it beautiful - all the things that I have missed when I have passed it before. I may even give it a name, change its name, make it my pen name, or stick with the original name ... I get to decide.
I had a cactus once. It died because I didn't water it enough. I replaced it with an African Violet which was such a fun plant to watch because it could go from totally dead to teaming with life within a day of watering. This time, I will look for something that is forgiving like the violet, yet grows very fast. I know that at times I may water my new plant too much and it will yellow. Other times, I may neglect it and dry leaves may appear. As it grows I will need to re-pot it or it will die for lack of soil. But I will keep trying until I get it down. Even if I have to buy a new plant.
I always feel funny at my greeting because I only have one follower so far. Hi Jim! So today I am posting to the Universe with faith that my messages will begin to land.
I have recently found the e-course I've been looking for (Kelly Rae Robert's Flying Lessons) as I have sat in the fruit bowl like an overripe banana. As I suspected, it has unearthed the most tremendous flow of self-discovery and truth that I have ever experienced. It has been such a catalyst for me that I feel a bit like the BP oil spill. I'm comin' out whether the world is ready for me or not. Whether I am ready for me or not. (I am not. But, according to Kelly, nobody ever is.) So then how do I handle the simultaneous eruptions that are exploding from within me? A book. A column. Painting. Photography. Blogging. And that's just to name a few.
How do you control the flow of the BP oil spill? It is bigger than anyone can imagine or accept. And it doesn't care that it's killing all the fish. The answer? You suck up as much as you can and divert the rest. Much like the oil spill, I am not able to quit my job to try and do ALL of these things at once. In fact, if I really think about it I don't even want to. I want to savor every step and absorb every drop along the way and schedule the rest for later.
So how do you get a fire hose to trickle like a sprinkler so that you don't kill the flowers? The answer: there has to be a place where the overflow gets directed. There also has to be a very strong nozzle to divert it where it needs to go. Today I will purchase my Personal Growth calendar. It will have a page for a long list where the excess water can be diverted. Each time I develop an idea, a task, a goal, I will write it down. I will then prioritize the list and transfer it to the calendar. I will write in pencil so I can change things as my priorities shift.
Truth is, I like the fire hose. It feels good to get unstopped. I want so badly to let it flow and not have to restrict it anymore. But I know that if I do it will kill the flowers. So I have to learn to manage my dreams not keep them in. I am managing them so that they can live, flourish and blossom. Though it feels a lot like holding them in, in reality I am letting them leak out. I am no longer thinking about my purpose without following it. Instead, I am taking small steps in order to let the flowers bloom. Maybe I will find a photo of a very delicate looking flower and tape it to my kitchen window to remind me to tread with care. To tend the flowers not kill them with my hose.
I will buy a plant today. One that requires a little water every day. And as I water it each morning, I will take note of the nice, soft soil, look for new sprouts and pluck dead leaves that impede its growth. It will need to be an indoor plant so I can tend it all year round.
I have no idea which plant it will be. I am completely open and excited to see what it is. It might be something totally unexpected. But I will learn to love this plant over time and see what makes it beautiful - all the things that I have missed when I have passed it before. I may even give it a name, change its name, make it my pen name, or stick with the original name ... I get to decide.
I had a cactus once. It died because I didn't water it enough. I replaced it with an African Violet which was such a fun plant to watch because it could go from totally dead to teaming with life within a day of watering. This time, I will look for something that is forgiving like the violet, yet grows very fast. I know that at times I may water my new plant too much and it will yellow. Other times, I may neglect it and dry leaves may appear. As it grows I will need to re-pot it or it will die for lack of soil. But I will keep trying until I get it down. Even if I have to buy a new plant.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Spewing to Uncover the Gratitude
Today I am a slow loris. My energy is gone. I did not sleep well. It's tough to concentrate and I'm just plain exhausted. Coffee is one idea - though I've already had three cups. I will go and get some and be right back...
In a way I am lucky. No one here to supervise me - all day to get my work done... I am reminded of Oprah's gratitude journal. I think it's a good idea for today. But first I must clear my plate of the clutter: hot, muggy day; details, details for kids summer activities,end of school, birthday celebrations; prep for school meeting with ex-husband and his awful wife prying over the phone; constantly reading degrading and harrassing emails from ex-husband; preparing for litigatin with ex-husband; heaps of laundry and dishes all over my house; scattered piles of work on my desk at work; doing two full time jobs; getting advice from my fiance and having to listen to his reactions to my feelings as if they were plans; knowing and feeling that I am in debt from last year's post-divorce legal battle; struggling to get two kids with ADHD out the door for school before their medication has kicked in - morning after morning after morning; struggling to make dinner every night the minute I get home for 3 starving boys and a family of 5; managing evening sports and homework; feeling bad about my body because I eat to comfort myself; having too little time for myself and exercise; no time to "be borne" with my writing and art yet feeling like I'm bursting at the seams; feeling guilty that my dog never gets walked who has recently decided to poop and pee in the basement several times a week; baseball tournaments EVERY Saturday and Sunday for the next month and a half; trying to stay involved in my fiances new business that neither of us have time for; dealing with his cranky mood as he installs a batting cage in our backyard by himself (except for when I needed to help him with the two-MAN gas-powered auger)and has too much to do just like I do; having to drive 45 minutes to church which makes it hard to get there and hard to get filled up for the week; having to replace and replant all the flowers I bought for $100 that died; having a full load at work. I think that just about covers it.
Now ..... what am I grateful for? Kids who adore me that I love immensely, a fiance who loves me, supportive family - especially when times get rough, my mother's gift of paying for me legal fees this time around - something I will remember long after she's gone, fun summer activities to come like boating and going to my mom's cabin, Memorial weekend this weekend - time to catch a breath, slowly seeing my debt go down, excitement about the batting cage in our own backyard, having a day at work to begin to catch up, new supportive friends at work, a sense of purpose from my job, knowing that I will inspire others with my writing and my art - probably sooner rather than later,having a boss that I am learning a lot from and whose trust I have earned; living in this beautiful small town of Forest City with all it's new and exciting stores popping up, having a child-centered school that supports my kids in any way needed, finding a well-respected attorney to handle my case,having good friends who have a strong faith and believe in me, being a child of God, learning new ways to cope with the harrassing emails from my ex and knowing that I am being made a stronger person for a reason, trusting God's plan for me, learning to love myself more - even when I don't look my best, or maybe I should say, in spite of not looking my best, learning from my exeriences such as knowing that I do not like to work in sales, proving to myself over and over again that I can make it through days like this.
P.S. I Am Write - Who are you?
In a way I am lucky. No one here to supervise me - all day to get my work done... I am reminded of Oprah's gratitude journal. I think it's a good idea for today. But first I must clear my plate of the clutter: hot, muggy day; details, details for kids summer activities,end of school, birthday celebrations; prep for school meeting with ex-husband and his awful wife prying over the phone; constantly reading degrading and harrassing emails from ex-husband; preparing for litigatin with ex-husband; heaps of laundry and dishes all over my house; scattered piles of work on my desk at work; doing two full time jobs; getting advice from my fiance and having to listen to his reactions to my feelings as if they were plans; knowing and feeling that I am in debt from last year's post-divorce legal battle; struggling to get two kids with ADHD out the door for school before their medication has kicked in - morning after morning after morning; struggling to make dinner every night the minute I get home for 3 starving boys and a family of 5; managing evening sports and homework; feeling bad about my body because I eat to comfort myself; having too little time for myself and exercise; no time to "be borne" with my writing and art yet feeling like I'm bursting at the seams; feeling guilty that my dog never gets walked who has recently decided to poop and pee in the basement several times a week; baseball tournaments EVERY Saturday and Sunday for the next month and a half; trying to stay involved in my fiances new business that neither of us have time for; dealing with his cranky mood as he installs a batting cage in our backyard by himself (except for when I needed to help him with the two-MAN gas-powered auger)and has too much to do just like I do; having to drive 45 minutes to church which makes it hard to get there and hard to get filled up for the week; having to replace and replant all the flowers I bought for $100 that died; having a full load at work. I think that just about covers it.
Now ..... what am I grateful for? Kids who adore me that I love immensely, a fiance who loves me, supportive family - especially when times get rough, my mother's gift of paying for me legal fees this time around - something I will remember long after she's gone, fun summer activities to come like boating and going to my mom's cabin, Memorial weekend this weekend - time to catch a breath, slowly seeing my debt go down, excitement about the batting cage in our own backyard, having a day at work to begin to catch up, new supportive friends at work, a sense of purpose from my job, knowing that I will inspire others with my writing and my art - probably sooner rather than later,having a boss that I am learning a lot from and whose trust I have earned; living in this beautiful small town of Forest City with all it's new and exciting stores popping up, having a child-centered school that supports my kids in any way needed, finding a well-respected attorney to handle my case,having good friends who have a strong faith and believe in me, being a child of God, learning new ways to cope with the harrassing emails from my ex and knowing that I am being made a stronger person for a reason, trusting God's plan for me, learning to love myself more - even when I don't look my best, or maybe I should say, in spite of not looking my best, learning from my exeriences such as knowing that I do not like to work in sales, proving to myself over and over again that I can make it through days like this.
P.S. I Am Write - Who are you?
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Wear Your Armor Well
Today I am reminded that things such as job loss, chronic difficulties with an ex-husband and financial stress are difficult yet, when I think about it,someone else has always got things worse than I do. Someone just learned they have cancer. Someone's kids are being abused and they are stuck in the legal system that allows it to continue. Some people are losing their homes. Others have lived through the devastation of a massive earthquake. When my problems feel like mountains, I remind myself of these things. Other times, I take a moment and imagine my problems magnified times ten and I am even more grateful that my situation isn't worse.
Some of my life's struggles have an ending point that, even if a long ways away, makes them somewhat more palatable. Other things feel like a chronic illness - overwhelming me with yet another episode before I've fully had a chance to recover from the previous one.
I asked my dear friend Jim, who thankfully knows his Bible well, for some helpful scripture. This is what he came back with:
Ephesians 6:10-18 (New International Version)
The Armor of God
10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
May you wear your armor well and prosper even in times of difficulty knowing God is the shield before your heart. IAW
Some of my life's struggles have an ending point that, even if a long ways away, makes them somewhat more palatable. Other things feel like a chronic illness - overwhelming me with yet another episode before I've fully had a chance to recover from the previous one.
I asked my dear friend Jim, who thankfully knows his Bible well, for some helpful scripture. This is what he came back with:
Ephesians 6:10-18 (New International Version)
The Armor of God
10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
May you wear your armor well and prosper even in times of difficulty knowing God is the shield before your heart. IAW
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Waiting to Spill
After three long weeks I got scheduled for a telephone interview for a teller position with Wells Fargo. One of the openings is 30 hours a week which would be full benefits and may help with the 45 min. commute. My friend Charisse once worked as a teller and said it was fun. It was a positive way to start the day.
I also just applied for a position online only to have it disappear and then be no longer posted as an opening! Luckily, I know the head of HR and she said they'd hire another person for that role if they found the right one. I have a call in to her...
I can feel how relieved I'll be once I get a job. It's like I'm holding my breath on all this creative stuff to stay focused until I get one. I can't imagine what will come spilling out of me then!
It's an exciting day in Forest City. School is getting out early today because the high school boys' basketball team is going to State! Half the people in town are traveling to Des Moines tonight to see their first game. All the kids ordered t-shirts to show their school spirit! If they get to the finals I think we'll have to join the rest of the town to cheer on the team - especially since my boys are all bball players! I love this small town spirit and support for sports!!! My boys sure are lucky to be the future recipients of such wonderful commotion.
Today is a good day. Though I'd rather do some writing or art, I will work on my budget. Maybe if I really get going, I'll allow myself a break or two to finish a few of my scribbled thoughts. I am glad to be motivated - even on this cloudy day!
I also just applied for a position online only to have it disappear and then be no longer posted as an opening! Luckily, I know the head of HR and she said they'd hire another person for that role if they found the right one. I have a call in to her...
I can feel how relieved I'll be once I get a job. It's like I'm holding my breath on all this creative stuff to stay focused until I get one. I can't imagine what will come spilling out of me then!
It's an exciting day in Forest City. School is getting out early today because the high school boys' basketball team is going to State! Half the people in town are traveling to Des Moines tonight to see their first game. All the kids ordered t-shirts to show their school spirit! If they get to the finals I think we'll have to join the rest of the town to cheer on the team - especially since my boys are all bball players! I love this small town spirit and support for sports!!! My boys sure are lucky to be the future recipients of such wonderful commotion.
Today is a good day. Though I'd rather do some writing or art, I will work on my budget. Maybe if I really get going, I'll allow myself a break or two to finish a few of my scribbled thoughts. I am glad to be motivated - even on this cloudy day!
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Glowing Peace and Calmness
Beautiful pre-birthday celebration with my Love last night. First we went to see a movie and I took a brief break in my South Beach diet for some popcorn with REAL butter! Then off to a nice restaurant for yummy hors d'vours and wine, loving conversation and a long drive home through the beautiful darkness.
Today I am motivated to figure out what my monthly expenses are so I can determine how much I need to make in my next job. I rose naturally at 7:30 (God definitely had a hand in that!) and am starting with a brief blog and coffee as my Love reads his Overton's magazine and dreams about boating days this summer.
Our conversation goes something like this. Me: "Hm. What an odd email." Him: "I want to put interior lights in this year." Me: "I didn't get past the screener for the personal banker job." It's actually nice. We're together in spirit but doing what each of us wants to do.
So how do I feel that I didn't get past the screener for the personal banker job? Well besides the fact that I had huge doubts about working for such a large organization that requires me to work late during the week and every other Saturday and is 45 min. away I knew I was MORE than qualified. So again, I will take God's lead: "This is not for you". Thank you Lord for helping me to move past it and not make a choice that is not of your liking. And what should pop up, but a business analyst position for a great company 30 minutes away where a friend of mine is head of HR. I don't yet know if this is the right direction for me to go but I believe you are guiding me Lord and I TRUST YOU. What a joyful place to be in my relationship with God.
You know that look of glowing power and calmness people have when they're strong Christians? Well I am starting to have it. Of course not all the time - I'm only human. But I am really living my life with God at the center. Thank you Lord for this breakthrough. Forgive me for doubting and for taking so long to get here. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for providing me with stirring Christian rock songs that I crank in the car and how they fill me to overflowing. Thank you for entering in my relationship with my Love and for slowly becoming our centre and the centre for our family. Be with us as we journey to make you our Savior. Amen
Today I am motivated to figure out what my monthly expenses are so I can determine how much I need to make in my next job. I rose naturally at 7:30 (God definitely had a hand in that!) and am starting with a brief blog and coffee as my Love reads his Overton's magazine and dreams about boating days this summer.
Our conversation goes something like this. Me: "Hm. What an odd email." Him: "I want to put interior lights in this year." Me: "I didn't get past the screener for the personal banker job." It's actually nice. We're together in spirit but doing what each of us wants to do.
So how do I feel that I didn't get past the screener for the personal banker job? Well besides the fact that I had huge doubts about working for such a large organization that requires me to work late during the week and every other Saturday and is 45 min. away I knew I was MORE than qualified. So again, I will take God's lead: "This is not for you". Thank you Lord for helping me to move past it and not make a choice that is not of your liking. And what should pop up, but a business analyst position for a great company 30 minutes away where a friend of mine is head of HR. I don't yet know if this is the right direction for me to go but I believe you are guiding me Lord and I TRUST YOU. What a joyful place to be in my relationship with God.
You know that look of glowing power and calmness people have when they're strong Christians? Well I am starting to have it. Of course not all the time - I'm only human. But I am really living my life with God at the center. Thank you Lord for this breakthrough. Forgive me for doubting and for taking so long to get here. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for providing me with stirring Christian rock songs that I crank in the car and how they fill me to overflowing. Thank you for entering in my relationship with my Love and for slowly becoming our centre and the centre for our family. Be with us as we journey to make you our Savior. Amen
Friday, March 5, 2010
Spring in my Heart
God is calling me to be what I am supposed to be. So why do I hold back? I can feel the inspiration building. The weekend is here. Poems and books keep sprouting from me on little slips of paper around the house. It is time to capture them. Today's message to myself and those who are following: You are a crocus bursting through snow. Happy creating! IAW
Monday, March 1, 2010
Trust and Beauty
Hello Fellow Bloggers!
I am so happy to connect with you again! I look forward to hearing from you and learning more about the people who stop here.
Had a good time with my best friend Charisse this weekend. She is so much fun, so positive and always there to offer good, practical advice. Thanks so much for being you,Charisse!
Nevertheless, the weekend was a little bumpy for me. I began to feel that Forest City is such a small town and that the job opportunities are so few and far between and felt panicky and boxed in. At the same time, I started to add up my mounting debt (I get a big pat on the back for tackling this rather than finding another reason to avoid it.) and couldn't help but feel oppressed and a little powerless. I found myself doing my usual "gripping" that I do when I feel anxious about something and want to solve it - NOW!
Then I went to church.
Ah, yes. We have a beautiful, lovely, rockin' church in Savage, MN. I sang along, clapped, and felt the beautiful chill throughout my body as we celebrated being in community in the presence of God. It was beautiful. (There's that word again - beautiful. My first impulse is to edit it out, but I will not as it appears to be the word of the day. Perhaps it is the word I will hold as I do some centering prayer (meditation) today. I think there is something for me to find in that word today. Thank you Lord.)
As for today, I am in great spirts, despite having a sick child at home. The sun is shining and - like so many of you - I can just feel the winter subsiding. My mind slips to backyard bonfires under the great black sky filled with stars, sitting in the breeze on the couch that usually ends up in our garage, our make-shift patio. This is a beautiful place to be, this Forest City.
At times like this I am aware of how big my obstacles may seem when in reality they are very managable. It will happen. I eventually will get a job. If I have to get a job in the neighboring town 45 min. away, I will find a way to make it work for my kids, making dinner, getting homework done, etc. God will show me the way.
This is His plan so who am I to question it? Please Lord help me to stop gripping and keep putting my trust in You. Even if I have to do it 1,000 times a day I will do it. Thank you for making me so aware of my habits of "gripping". This is the spiritual growth I know that you want for me. Thank you for the lessons. Help me learn to be more faithful every day. Amen.
I am so happy to connect with you again! I look forward to hearing from you and learning more about the people who stop here.
Had a good time with my best friend Charisse this weekend. She is so much fun, so positive and always there to offer good, practical advice. Thanks so much for being you,Charisse!
Nevertheless, the weekend was a little bumpy for me. I began to feel that Forest City is such a small town and that the job opportunities are so few and far between and felt panicky and boxed in. At the same time, I started to add up my mounting debt (I get a big pat on the back for tackling this rather than finding another reason to avoid it.) and couldn't help but feel oppressed and a little powerless. I found myself doing my usual "gripping" that I do when I feel anxious about something and want to solve it - NOW!
Then I went to church.
Ah, yes. We have a beautiful, lovely, rockin' church in Savage, MN. I sang along, clapped, and felt the beautiful chill throughout my body as we celebrated being in community in the presence of God. It was beautiful. (There's that word again - beautiful. My first impulse is to edit it out, but I will not as it appears to be the word of the day. Perhaps it is the word I will hold as I do some centering prayer (meditation) today. I think there is something for me to find in that word today. Thank you Lord.)
As for today, I am in great spirts, despite having a sick child at home. The sun is shining and - like so many of you - I can just feel the winter subsiding. My mind slips to backyard bonfires under the great black sky filled with stars, sitting in the breeze on the couch that usually ends up in our garage, our make-shift patio. This is a beautiful place to be, this Forest City.
At times like this I am aware of how big my obstacles may seem when in reality they are very managable. It will happen. I eventually will get a job. If I have to get a job in the neighboring town 45 min. away, I will find a way to make it work for my kids, making dinner, getting homework done, etc. God will show me the way.
This is His plan so who am I to question it? Please Lord help me to stop gripping and keep putting my trust in You. Even if I have to do it 1,000 times a day I will do it. Thank you for making me so aware of my habits of "gripping". This is the spiritual growth I know that you want for me. Thank you for the lessons. Help me learn to be more faithful every day. Amen.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Welcome Sunshine!
Good Morning!
Does anyone else have Spring Fever like me? It is so nice to see the sun again.
I continue to be blessed by the knowledge that God will provide for me as I continue to look for a job. I truly believe he has something in store for me and it's just a matter of a month or so until I get something.
In the meantime, He is telling me to rest, re-couperate from my last job which was straight commission, get organized around the house, get my taxes done and, most importantly get my blog going!
Blogging has opened so many doors to me. I can't wait to make the most of it's potential and have many plans. Stay posted so that you can view them!
In reality, blogging has changed my life. I can do everything I want to do via my blog, fulfill every aspect of my earthly purpose, and do it in a wonderful community of like-mined artists, writers and believers like you! All I need is a regular income and I'll be off!
My birthday is coming up in a few weeks. I think I would like to find an online class on how to build, customize and get the most out of my blog. Does anyone know of any? What a perfect gift to give myself. (Actually my mom and fiance' are going to make this their present. I love it when they ask me what I want!) There are so many things I want to do. I'd love to take a writing class at the Loft or attend their Children's Writers Workshop in May. I'd love to take an art class, a writing class, etc. I will do like Julia Cameron said in her book The Artist's Way,"feed the well". For those of you who have not read it, she means that, if you are a writer, for example, do other types of creative activities, like painting, to enhance your creativity.
I am so open. I am so ready.
Staring right into the well,
IAW
P.S. I'd love to hear from anyone who has stopped by just to know that I'm doing this right but also, and always, to connect!
Does anyone else have Spring Fever like me? It is so nice to see the sun again.
I continue to be blessed by the knowledge that God will provide for me as I continue to look for a job. I truly believe he has something in store for me and it's just a matter of a month or so until I get something.
In the meantime, He is telling me to rest, re-couperate from my last job which was straight commission, get organized around the house, get my taxes done and, most importantly get my blog going!
Blogging has opened so many doors to me. I can't wait to make the most of it's potential and have many plans. Stay posted so that you can view them!
In reality, blogging has changed my life. I can do everything I want to do via my blog, fulfill every aspect of my earthly purpose, and do it in a wonderful community of like-mined artists, writers and believers like you! All I need is a regular income and I'll be off!
My birthday is coming up in a few weeks. I think I would like to find an online class on how to build, customize and get the most out of my blog. Does anyone know of any? What a perfect gift to give myself. (Actually my mom and fiance' are going to make this their present. I love it when they ask me what I want!) There are so many things I want to do. I'd love to take a writing class at the Loft or attend their Children's Writers Workshop in May. I'd love to take an art class, a writing class, etc. I will do like Julia Cameron said in her book The Artist's Way,"feed the well". For those of you who have not read it, she means that, if you are a writer, for example, do other types of creative activities, like painting, to enhance your creativity.
I am so open. I am so ready.
Staring right into the well,
IAW
P.S. I'd love to hear from anyone who has stopped by just to know that I'm doing this right but also, and always, to connect!
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Welcome
Hello and welcome to my blog. I am so glad you are here. This is all so new for me so you may see lots of funny things for awhile until I get this all figured out.
So why the name Joint Laughter and Snorting Thru Tears? Because, for me, many things have stood in the way of my becoming: psychological issues with money, anxiety and managing my highs and lows, not knowing who I am, divorce, prioritizing my parenting of 2 boys with special needs, managing post-divorce lawsuits that put me $30,000 in debt, learning to manage my ex-husband's wife who constantly interferes in medical decisions for my kids and - along with my ex - sends regular abusive emails, family of origin things to work through, fear of success, living in an idealistic mindset, and the list goes on... I have worked with a wonderful therapist for year through all of this which has helped keep me moving forward. Whenever I'd encounter something really difficult it seemed like something funny would get said and before we knew it she and I would be laughing and snorting through our tears. These were beautiful healing times.
Nonetheless, the above list is not a list of excuses. It's just life. And, as we all know, life is difficult. This is where I need to mention God and His grace. Each time I have been faced with something really difficult I have surrendered it to God. And you know what? He has never let me down. Not once. The result might be different than I expected or what I thought I wanted but it is always better than I could have imagined myself.
I have learned many valuable things through this process of evolving and continue to learn. It's interesting looking back at what I've done and how it all makes sense - how I've weaved a web to keep climbing to where I am going. I know now that I will never "arrive" but rather arrive for a time - sometimes short, sometimes long - before growth takes me further. Speaking of growth, I have learned that it is always associated with pain (again reinforcing the name of my blog) but I just move through the pain to get to the other side where I know beautiful gifts lie waiting to be opened.
Now for the big picture. I've known for sure for the past thirteen years that my purpose is to be a writer. It came to me in a poem that spoke straight to me from the Universe. The poem, which I will share later once I figure out how to copyright this site, is called I Am Write. So to remind me of my purpose I call myself that on this blog.
This process of becoming is a herky jerky one. Sometimes it seems like an eternity to get to the next level, though I know things are cooking underground. Other times, like now I move quickly and without resistance. I love these times.
My newest realization is that I do not want to be an entrepreneur (at least until I can write and do my art for a living)and actually want to work for someone else so that I can have a steady income, benefits and can put my energy into my craft. Having moved to northern IA from the Twin Cities 8 months ago,to live with my fiance' and his son, the job prospects in this town of 5,000 are limited. I had applied for a job at the local bank but they chose someone else because I was overqualified. Though I had a brief cry, which is so cleansing to me, I am ready to see what God has in store for me. So off to make connections and apply for jobs.
I look forward to hearing from you as you find your path and pray that you, too, will laugh and snort thru tears or simply laugh and snort,
IAW
So why the name Joint Laughter and Snorting Thru Tears? Because, for me, many things have stood in the way of my becoming: psychological issues with money, anxiety and managing my highs and lows, not knowing who I am, divorce, prioritizing my parenting of 2 boys with special needs, managing post-divorce lawsuits that put me $30,000 in debt, learning to manage my ex-husband's wife who constantly interferes in medical decisions for my kids and - along with my ex - sends regular abusive emails, family of origin things to work through, fear of success, living in an idealistic mindset, and the list goes on... I have worked with a wonderful therapist for year through all of this which has helped keep me moving forward. Whenever I'd encounter something really difficult it seemed like something funny would get said and before we knew it she and I would be laughing and snorting through our tears. These were beautiful healing times.
Nonetheless, the above list is not a list of excuses. It's just life. And, as we all know, life is difficult. This is where I need to mention God and His grace. Each time I have been faced with something really difficult I have surrendered it to God. And you know what? He has never let me down. Not once. The result might be different than I expected or what I thought I wanted but it is always better than I could have imagined myself.
I have learned many valuable things through this process of evolving and continue to learn. It's interesting looking back at what I've done and how it all makes sense - how I've weaved a web to keep climbing to where I am going. I know now that I will never "arrive" but rather arrive for a time - sometimes short, sometimes long - before growth takes me further. Speaking of growth, I have learned that it is always associated with pain (again reinforcing the name of my blog) but I just move through the pain to get to the other side where I know beautiful gifts lie waiting to be opened.
Now for the big picture. I've known for sure for the past thirteen years that my purpose is to be a writer. It came to me in a poem that spoke straight to me from the Universe. The poem, which I will share later once I figure out how to copyright this site, is called I Am Write. So to remind me of my purpose I call myself that on this blog.
This process of becoming is a herky jerky one. Sometimes it seems like an eternity to get to the next level, though I know things are cooking underground. Other times, like now I move quickly and without resistance. I love these times.
My newest realization is that I do not want to be an entrepreneur (at least until I can write and do my art for a living)and actually want to work for someone else so that I can have a steady income, benefits and can put my energy into my craft. Having moved to northern IA from the Twin Cities 8 months ago,to live with my fiance' and his son, the job prospects in this town of 5,000 are limited. I had applied for a job at the local bank but they chose someone else because I was overqualified. Though I had a brief cry, which is so cleansing to me, I am ready to see what God has in store for me. So off to make connections and apply for jobs.
I look forward to hearing from you as you find your path and pray that you, too, will laugh and snort thru tears or simply laugh and snort,
IAW
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