Today I am reminded that things such as job loss, chronic difficulties with an ex-husband and financial stress are difficult yet, when I think about it,someone else has always got things worse than I do. Someone just learned they have cancer. Someone's kids are being abused and they are stuck in the legal system that allows it to continue. Some people are losing their homes. Others have lived through the devastation of a massive earthquake. When my problems feel like mountains, I remind myself of these things. Other times, I take a moment and imagine my problems magnified times ten and I am even more grateful that my situation isn't worse.
Some of my life's struggles have an ending point that, even if a long ways away, makes them somewhat more palatable. Other things feel like a chronic illness - overwhelming me with yet another episode before I've fully had a chance to recover from the previous one.
I asked my dear friend Jim, who thankfully knows his Bible well, for some helpful scripture. This is what he came back with:
Ephesians 6:10-18 (New International Version)
The Armor of God
10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
May you wear your armor well and prosper even in times of difficulty knowing God is the shield before your heart. IAW
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Waiting to Spill
After three long weeks I got scheduled for a telephone interview for a teller position with Wells Fargo. One of the openings is 30 hours a week which would be full benefits and may help with the 45 min. commute. My friend Charisse once worked as a teller and said it was fun. It was a positive way to start the day.
I also just applied for a position online only to have it disappear and then be no longer posted as an opening! Luckily, I know the head of HR and she said they'd hire another person for that role if they found the right one. I have a call in to her...
I can feel how relieved I'll be once I get a job. It's like I'm holding my breath on all this creative stuff to stay focused until I get one. I can't imagine what will come spilling out of me then!
It's an exciting day in Forest City. School is getting out early today because the high school boys' basketball team is going to State! Half the people in town are traveling to Des Moines tonight to see their first game. All the kids ordered t-shirts to show their school spirit! If they get to the finals I think we'll have to join the rest of the town to cheer on the team - especially since my boys are all bball players! I love this small town spirit and support for sports!!! My boys sure are lucky to be the future recipients of such wonderful commotion.
Today is a good day. Though I'd rather do some writing or art, I will work on my budget. Maybe if I really get going, I'll allow myself a break or two to finish a few of my scribbled thoughts. I am glad to be motivated - even on this cloudy day!
I also just applied for a position online only to have it disappear and then be no longer posted as an opening! Luckily, I know the head of HR and she said they'd hire another person for that role if they found the right one. I have a call in to her...
I can feel how relieved I'll be once I get a job. It's like I'm holding my breath on all this creative stuff to stay focused until I get one. I can't imagine what will come spilling out of me then!
It's an exciting day in Forest City. School is getting out early today because the high school boys' basketball team is going to State! Half the people in town are traveling to Des Moines tonight to see their first game. All the kids ordered t-shirts to show their school spirit! If they get to the finals I think we'll have to join the rest of the town to cheer on the team - especially since my boys are all bball players! I love this small town spirit and support for sports!!! My boys sure are lucky to be the future recipients of such wonderful commotion.
Today is a good day. Though I'd rather do some writing or art, I will work on my budget. Maybe if I really get going, I'll allow myself a break or two to finish a few of my scribbled thoughts. I am glad to be motivated - even on this cloudy day!
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Glowing Peace and Calmness
Beautiful pre-birthday celebration with my Love last night. First we went to see a movie and I took a brief break in my South Beach diet for some popcorn with REAL butter! Then off to a nice restaurant for yummy hors d'vours and wine, loving conversation and a long drive home through the beautiful darkness.
Today I am motivated to figure out what my monthly expenses are so I can determine how much I need to make in my next job. I rose naturally at 7:30 (God definitely had a hand in that!) and am starting with a brief blog and coffee as my Love reads his Overton's magazine and dreams about boating days this summer.
Our conversation goes something like this. Me: "Hm. What an odd email." Him: "I want to put interior lights in this year." Me: "I didn't get past the screener for the personal banker job." It's actually nice. We're together in spirit but doing what each of us wants to do.
So how do I feel that I didn't get past the screener for the personal banker job? Well besides the fact that I had huge doubts about working for such a large organization that requires me to work late during the week and every other Saturday and is 45 min. away I knew I was MORE than qualified. So again, I will take God's lead: "This is not for you". Thank you Lord for helping me to move past it and not make a choice that is not of your liking. And what should pop up, but a business analyst position for a great company 30 minutes away where a friend of mine is head of HR. I don't yet know if this is the right direction for me to go but I believe you are guiding me Lord and I TRUST YOU. What a joyful place to be in my relationship with God.
You know that look of glowing power and calmness people have when they're strong Christians? Well I am starting to have it. Of course not all the time - I'm only human. But I am really living my life with God at the center. Thank you Lord for this breakthrough. Forgive me for doubting and for taking so long to get here. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for providing me with stirring Christian rock songs that I crank in the car and how they fill me to overflowing. Thank you for entering in my relationship with my Love and for slowly becoming our centre and the centre for our family. Be with us as we journey to make you our Savior. Amen
Today I am motivated to figure out what my monthly expenses are so I can determine how much I need to make in my next job. I rose naturally at 7:30 (God definitely had a hand in that!) and am starting with a brief blog and coffee as my Love reads his Overton's magazine and dreams about boating days this summer.
Our conversation goes something like this. Me: "Hm. What an odd email." Him: "I want to put interior lights in this year." Me: "I didn't get past the screener for the personal banker job." It's actually nice. We're together in spirit but doing what each of us wants to do.
So how do I feel that I didn't get past the screener for the personal banker job? Well besides the fact that I had huge doubts about working for such a large organization that requires me to work late during the week and every other Saturday and is 45 min. away I knew I was MORE than qualified. So again, I will take God's lead: "This is not for you". Thank you Lord for helping me to move past it and not make a choice that is not of your liking. And what should pop up, but a business analyst position for a great company 30 minutes away where a friend of mine is head of HR. I don't yet know if this is the right direction for me to go but I believe you are guiding me Lord and I TRUST YOU. What a joyful place to be in my relationship with God.
You know that look of glowing power and calmness people have when they're strong Christians? Well I am starting to have it. Of course not all the time - I'm only human. But I am really living my life with God at the center. Thank you Lord for this breakthrough. Forgive me for doubting and for taking so long to get here. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for providing me with stirring Christian rock songs that I crank in the car and how they fill me to overflowing. Thank you for entering in my relationship with my Love and for slowly becoming our centre and the centre for our family. Be with us as we journey to make you our Savior. Amen
Friday, March 5, 2010
Spring in my Heart
God is calling me to be what I am supposed to be. So why do I hold back? I can feel the inspiration building. The weekend is here. Poems and books keep sprouting from me on little slips of paper around the house. It is time to capture them. Today's message to myself and those who are following: You are a crocus bursting through snow. Happy creating! IAW
Monday, March 1, 2010
Trust and Beauty
Hello Fellow Bloggers!
I am so happy to connect with you again! I look forward to hearing from you and learning more about the people who stop here.
Had a good time with my best friend Charisse this weekend. She is so much fun, so positive and always there to offer good, practical advice. Thanks so much for being you,Charisse!
Nevertheless, the weekend was a little bumpy for me. I began to feel that Forest City is such a small town and that the job opportunities are so few and far between and felt panicky and boxed in. At the same time, I started to add up my mounting debt (I get a big pat on the back for tackling this rather than finding another reason to avoid it.) and couldn't help but feel oppressed and a little powerless. I found myself doing my usual "gripping" that I do when I feel anxious about something and want to solve it - NOW!
Then I went to church.
Ah, yes. We have a beautiful, lovely, rockin' church in Savage, MN. I sang along, clapped, and felt the beautiful chill throughout my body as we celebrated being in community in the presence of God. It was beautiful. (There's that word again - beautiful. My first impulse is to edit it out, but I will not as it appears to be the word of the day. Perhaps it is the word I will hold as I do some centering prayer (meditation) today. I think there is something for me to find in that word today. Thank you Lord.)
As for today, I am in great spirts, despite having a sick child at home. The sun is shining and - like so many of you - I can just feel the winter subsiding. My mind slips to backyard bonfires under the great black sky filled with stars, sitting in the breeze on the couch that usually ends up in our garage, our make-shift patio. This is a beautiful place to be, this Forest City.
At times like this I am aware of how big my obstacles may seem when in reality they are very managable. It will happen. I eventually will get a job. If I have to get a job in the neighboring town 45 min. away, I will find a way to make it work for my kids, making dinner, getting homework done, etc. God will show me the way.
This is His plan so who am I to question it? Please Lord help me to stop gripping and keep putting my trust in You. Even if I have to do it 1,000 times a day I will do it. Thank you for making me so aware of my habits of "gripping". This is the spiritual growth I know that you want for me. Thank you for the lessons. Help me learn to be more faithful every day. Amen.
I am so happy to connect with you again! I look forward to hearing from you and learning more about the people who stop here.
Had a good time with my best friend Charisse this weekend. She is so much fun, so positive and always there to offer good, practical advice. Thanks so much for being you,Charisse!
Nevertheless, the weekend was a little bumpy for me. I began to feel that Forest City is such a small town and that the job opportunities are so few and far between and felt panicky and boxed in. At the same time, I started to add up my mounting debt (I get a big pat on the back for tackling this rather than finding another reason to avoid it.) and couldn't help but feel oppressed and a little powerless. I found myself doing my usual "gripping" that I do when I feel anxious about something and want to solve it - NOW!
Then I went to church.
Ah, yes. We have a beautiful, lovely, rockin' church in Savage, MN. I sang along, clapped, and felt the beautiful chill throughout my body as we celebrated being in community in the presence of God. It was beautiful. (There's that word again - beautiful. My first impulse is to edit it out, but I will not as it appears to be the word of the day. Perhaps it is the word I will hold as I do some centering prayer (meditation) today. I think there is something for me to find in that word today. Thank you Lord.)
As for today, I am in great spirts, despite having a sick child at home. The sun is shining and - like so many of you - I can just feel the winter subsiding. My mind slips to backyard bonfires under the great black sky filled with stars, sitting in the breeze on the couch that usually ends up in our garage, our make-shift patio. This is a beautiful place to be, this Forest City.
At times like this I am aware of how big my obstacles may seem when in reality they are very managable. It will happen. I eventually will get a job. If I have to get a job in the neighboring town 45 min. away, I will find a way to make it work for my kids, making dinner, getting homework done, etc. God will show me the way.
This is His plan so who am I to question it? Please Lord help me to stop gripping and keep putting my trust in You. Even if I have to do it 1,000 times a day I will do it. Thank you for making me so aware of my habits of "gripping". This is the spiritual growth I know that you want for me. Thank you for the lessons. Help me learn to be more faithful every day. Amen.
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