I sit with cup of steaming coffee, wrapped in blankets in the crisp, almost damp, morning. I hear honking to the west - Roger's favorite sound. Most of the geese fly in formation and I am reminded of that stupid joke: "Why is the line of geese sometimes longer on one side than the other?" Answer: "Because there is an odd number of geese."
But then I notice there are 2 geese that are flying along with the flock but are choosing to not fly in formation. The others draft along in neat formation - one behind the other. And I wonder why the lone geese don't just join on in. Its so much easier to fly that way.
Upon reflection, I realize that I am like one of the lone geese. I could easily fly in formation like most the other geese. But instead, I choose to carve my own path. It is harder to fly alone - the wind resistance and all. But that's just how I've always been.
Not long after they pass overhead and I hear, boom, boom, boom-boom-boom. Perhaps this is why the two have chosen to fly alone. Perhaps they have flown in formation before and realized their chances for survival were better on their own. Sometimes, what's harder, is wiser.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Do You Remember This?
Babe, I love you so-o-o... I want you to know. That I-I-I'm gonna miss your lo-o-ove, the minute you walk out that do-or. Please don't go. Don't go. Don't GO-O-O-O-O. Please don't go. Don't go. Don't go away...
I was in the bookstore at the college I work for when this song sprung forth from the boombox. I don't know about you but it brought me back to the days of bellbottoms, hot pants and white vinyl go go boots. And like most pleasantly annoying songs, it stuck in my head all day and made me giggle. I found the song on youtube and kept playing it over and over - much to the chagrin of my co-worker Cassandra. But it just had to get out.
At our house, our ipod is loaded with "Breakfast Music" with catchy yet annoying favorites such as: You Can Ring My Bell by Anita Ward, Another One Bites the Dust by Queen, Nights on Broadway by the Bee Gees and Big Balls by ACDC (I give myself a mommy demerit for this one. But I just can't help myself.) etc. You can only imagine how these songs "inspire" our three boys ages 11, 9, and 7!
There's nothing like a good song. I grew up scarf dancing with my mom in the living room. Later, when I worked at Pagliai's Pizza in Mankato in college, I used to play one of my favorite songs over and over again: Neunundneunzig Luft Ballons (99 Red Balloons) by Nena. Being fluent in German, I knew every word. The poor patrons had to hear that song the whole time they ate their pizza. But I did it anyway. It helped make up for the lack of tips.
What songs get stuck in your head and where do they take you? What questions did you used to ask your Magic Eight Ball and how many times did it take to get the "right" answer? I can't wait to hear!
Mixed Media Maven
P.S. Does anyone remember the No Jelly candy bar or Koogle peanut butter that came in flavors like chocolate and vanilla? I have yet to meet someone who remembers the No Jelly. How about Bubs Daddys? Pop rocks? Oh, I'm really on a roll now!
I was in the bookstore at the college I work for when this song sprung forth from the boombox. I don't know about you but it brought me back to the days of bellbottoms, hot pants and white vinyl go go boots. And like most pleasantly annoying songs, it stuck in my head all day and made me giggle. I found the song on youtube and kept playing it over and over - much to the chagrin of my co-worker Cassandra. But it just had to get out.
At our house, our ipod is loaded with "Breakfast Music" with catchy yet annoying favorites such as: You Can Ring My Bell by Anita Ward, Another One Bites the Dust by Queen, Nights on Broadway by the Bee Gees and Big Balls by ACDC (I give myself a mommy demerit for this one. But I just can't help myself.) etc. You can only imagine how these songs "inspire" our three boys ages 11, 9, and 7!
There's nothing like a good song. I grew up scarf dancing with my mom in the living room. Later, when I worked at Pagliai's Pizza in Mankato in college, I used to play one of my favorite songs over and over again: Neunundneunzig Luft Ballons (99 Red Balloons) by Nena. Being fluent in German, I knew every word. The poor patrons had to hear that song the whole time they ate their pizza. But I did it anyway. It helped make up for the lack of tips.
What songs get stuck in your head and where do they take you? What questions did you used to ask your Magic Eight Ball and how many times did it take to get the "right" answer? I can't wait to hear!
Mixed Media Maven
P.S. Does anyone remember the No Jelly candy bar or Koogle peanut butter that came in flavors like chocolate and vanilla? I have yet to meet someone who remembers the No Jelly. How about Bubs Daddys? Pop rocks? Oh, I'm really on a roll now!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Answers
I am behind in my e-course. But last night I read the time management post. I had to. I've been going around all week asking myself, How do I carve out time to make art? Something's got to give, but what? I can't take time away from my kids. I can't be irresponsible and quit my job. My boss will not let me reduce my hours - believe me, I don't need to ask. I am completely and totally committed to doing my art, but where will I make the cut?
This past Sunday I decorated my first cigar keepsake box with my best friend Charisse.To my delight, it turned out great! I even decided I that I am a mixed media artist. I had a hunch before I started on the box and now it is confirmed.
Part of my hunch came from the fact that I loved so many things - photography, writing, painting, collage. Yet I am not a purest. (I am one of the few who gave kudos to James Frey for embellishing the truth in his memoir A Million Little Pieces. It made the story better and that's what I wanted: a good read.) Yes, I can take photos that inspire me. But when I show them to other people, I don't get the big, "Wow!" that I'm looking for. I honestly think it's because stunning photographs are a dime a dozen. They're everywhere. (For all the purist photographers out there: I totally admire you for the type of artist you are and I appreciate and love great photography.) But for me, straight photography was missing something. It was only a partial expression of talents.
This reminded me that I had identified three types of art, all of which would constitute who I am as an artist. I just hadn't imagined using them all together until now. I imagine painting atop a photograph, inserting words into some paintings, plastering buttons and other found items on my paintings and brushing over them with an opaque paint. Yes, mixed media allows me to put my own print on each piece. It makes each one uniquely me.
So, how will I make the time to be a mixed media artist? Three things sunk in from Kelly's class. First, I need to clarify my goals, break them into small steps and put them on my calendar. I had already figured out the first two steps but had yet to list them on my calendar. Very important difference! Second, plan a schedule only one week out every Sunday and stick to it. Know that my schedule will vary as projects and demands vary. Be open for the changes. And finally, Kelly confirmed for me what I already knew but had made me feel irresponsible in the past: when you feel the passion, follow it even at the expense of balance. The inspiration will eventually ebb and you can catch up then.
This got me thinking. How will I explain the lack of balance to my kids? They will be impacted too. I have come up with three strategies: get them to bed on time and spend one hour each evening creating in my studio. In fact, I will designate the time 8:30 - 9:30 so that I won't be too tired. I will tell the boys that the clock will dictate bedtime regardless of whether on not they have eaten their snack, brushed their teeth, etc. This will actually be a good lesson to them as I will be demonstrating discipline and time management skills. As they get older and stay up later, I may allow them to be in the studio with me making creations of their own on one condition: they are quiet.My boys are very gifted artists themselves - even my stepson. Maybe this will allow them to develop yet another skill and passion in their lives. Finally, and most importantly, I will not make excuses or feel guilty for the huge flows of inspiration and resulting imbalance. My family will just have to learn how to pick up the pieces. Here's what I will tell them:
Being an artist
Is like being a farmer.
You gotta make hay while the sun shines -
Sometimes until the cows come home...
They will catch on. And so will I.
I Am Mixed Media
This past Sunday I decorated my first cigar keepsake box with my best friend Charisse.To my delight, it turned out great! I even decided I that I am a mixed media artist. I had a hunch before I started on the box and now it is confirmed.
Part of my hunch came from the fact that I loved so many things - photography, writing, painting, collage. Yet I am not a purest. (I am one of the few who gave kudos to James Frey for embellishing the truth in his memoir A Million Little Pieces. It made the story better and that's what I wanted: a good read.) Yes, I can take photos that inspire me. But when I show them to other people, I don't get the big, "Wow!" that I'm looking for. I honestly think it's because stunning photographs are a dime a dozen. They're everywhere. (For all the purist photographers out there: I totally admire you for the type of artist you are and I appreciate and love great photography.) But for me, straight photography was missing something. It was only a partial expression of talents.
This reminded me that I had identified three types of art, all of which would constitute who I am as an artist. I just hadn't imagined using them all together until now. I imagine painting atop a photograph, inserting words into some paintings, plastering buttons and other found items on my paintings and brushing over them with an opaque paint. Yes, mixed media allows me to put my own print on each piece. It makes each one uniquely me.
So, how will I make the time to be a mixed media artist? Three things sunk in from Kelly's class. First, I need to clarify my goals, break them into small steps and put them on my calendar. I had already figured out the first two steps but had yet to list them on my calendar. Very important difference! Second, plan a schedule only one week out every Sunday and stick to it. Know that my schedule will vary as projects and demands vary. Be open for the changes. And finally, Kelly confirmed for me what I already knew but had made me feel irresponsible in the past: when you feel the passion, follow it even at the expense of balance. The inspiration will eventually ebb and you can catch up then.
This got me thinking. How will I explain the lack of balance to my kids? They will be impacted too. I have come up with three strategies: get them to bed on time and spend one hour each evening creating in my studio. In fact, I will designate the time 8:30 - 9:30 so that I won't be too tired. I will tell the boys that the clock will dictate bedtime regardless of whether on not they have eaten their snack, brushed their teeth, etc. This will actually be a good lesson to them as I will be demonstrating discipline and time management skills. As they get older and stay up later, I may allow them to be in the studio with me making creations of their own on one condition: they are quiet.My boys are very gifted artists themselves - even my stepson. Maybe this will allow them to develop yet another skill and passion in their lives. Finally, and most importantly, I will not make excuses or feel guilty for the huge flows of inspiration and resulting imbalance. My family will just have to learn how to pick up the pieces. Here's what I will tell them:
Being an artist
Is like being a farmer.
You gotta make hay while the sun shines -
Sometimes until the cows come home...
They will catch on. And so will I.
I Am Mixed Media
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Ready for Success
Good Morning!
Last night I was able to talk to each of my parents about some very touchy subjects. For the first time ever, I was able to remain calm, patient, understanding and emapthetic while at the same time, giving them helpful strategies and tools to manage the situation. I was even able to bounce false accusations back at the accuser without coming off as defensive, angry or hurt. My dad remarked that my reframing of the situation was so helpful and that he has learned so much from me and that I am practically like a therapist to him. That meant a lot. Yet, it wasn't as if I was a child seeking long-sought recognition from a parent. Instead it confirmed my awareness of the grown, wise woman I've become because of all my hard work and therapy. It was deeply satisfying to not be triggered by the same old stuff that has triggered me in the past and I was grateful to be able to be of such help to my father.
Just a few weeks ago, I may not have been quite able to manage this in the same manner. But I am now deeply confident and happy with myself. I actually have arrived at a place where I love myself through and through for the very first time in my life. (I have been working diligently on this for thirteen years! Watch for my book of poems about the early days and how therapy made such a shift in my life.) It feels so good to walk around without my victim hanging out. I am only a victim when I choose to be, which is rare these days because I am intentionally noticing when my victim tries to show up and I'm not letting it do the driving anymore.
The best part is that not only do I know, not think, that I will be a successful artist. I haven't one doubt about it even though I'm not 100% sure what my art (in the broadest sense) will look like. I like being open about it and letting it evolve indefinitely. I no longer feel the need to align myself with one category, i.e. painter, photographer, writer. I now know that creativity involves self-expression and that, as you grow, the need to express different things in different manners changes. It is a beautiful thing to accept all aspects of myself and I am eager to see what springs forth.
I also know, not think, that I am finally able to hold the financial piece that comes with success - again for the first time ever. Why? Because you can't blow your money when you truly love yourself. You can ony make healthy choices with it because our choices reflect how we feel about ourselves just as how, when we love ourselves, we no longer let people treat us poorly.
Before, I always had the uncomfortable feeling that I would be somewhat irresponsible with success. But now, I have broad enough shoulders to hold it. I will not feel arrogant or let my success go to my head. Instead, I expect to feel much the same as I do know - solidly content and happy and pleasantly pleased with my accomplishments - only it will be multiplied in a very calm and satisfying way. It will feel so good to pay things off and save more for college and retirement. It will feel so good to do good things for myself and others. It will feel so good to sponsor some children through World Vision, contribute to the Humane Society, Planned Parenthood and other wonderful organizations.
Thank you Lord for the gift of self-love. I know I have earned it but I couldn't have done it without You.
I Am Write (Among Other Things)
Last night I was able to talk to each of my parents about some very touchy subjects. For the first time ever, I was able to remain calm, patient, understanding and emapthetic while at the same time, giving them helpful strategies and tools to manage the situation. I was even able to bounce false accusations back at the accuser without coming off as defensive, angry or hurt. My dad remarked that my reframing of the situation was so helpful and that he has learned so much from me and that I am practically like a therapist to him. That meant a lot. Yet, it wasn't as if I was a child seeking long-sought recognition from a parent. Instead it confirmed my awareness of the grown, wise woman I've become because of all my hard work and therapy. It was deeply satisfying to not be triggered by the same old stuff that has triggered me in the past and I was grateful to be able to be of such help to my father.
Just a few weeks ago, I may not have been quite able to manage this in the same manner. But I am now deeply confident and happy with myself. I actually have arrived at a place where I love myself through and through for the very first time in my life. (I have been working diligently on this for thirteen years! Watch for my book of poems about the early days and how therapy made such a shift in my life.) It feels so good to walk around without my victim hanging out. I am only a victim when I choose to be, which is rare these days because I am intentionally noticing when my victim tries to show up and I'm not letting it do the driving anymore.
The best part is that not only do I know, not think, that I will be a successful artist. I haven't one doubt about it even though I'm not 100% sure what my art (in the broadest sense) will look like. I like being open about it and letting it evolve indefinitely. I no longer feel the need to align myself with one category, i.e. painter, photographer, writer. I now know that creativity involves self-expression and that, as you grow, the need to express different things in different manners changes. It is a beautiful thing to accept all aspects of myself and I am eager to see what springs forth.
I also know, not think, that I am finally able to hold the financial piece that comes with success - again for the first time ever. Why? Because you can't blow your money when you truly love yourself. You can ony make healthy choices with it because our choices reflect how we feel about ourselves just as how, when we love ourselves, we no longer let people treat us poorly.
Before, I always had the uncomfortable feeling that I would be somewhat irresponsible with success. But now, I have broad enough shoulders to hold it. I will not feel arrogant or let my success go to my head. Instead, I expect to feel much the same as I do know - solidly content and happy and pleasantly pleased with my accomplishments - only it will be multiplied in a very calm and satisfying way. It will feel so good to pay things off and save more for college and retirement. It will feel so good to do good things for myself and others. It will feel so good to sponsor some children through World Vision, contribute to the Humane Society, Planned Parenthood and other wonderful organizations.
Thank you Lord for the gift of self-love. I know I have earned it but I couldn't have done it without You.
I Am Write (Among Other Things)
Friday, June 25, 2010
When Words Are Not Enough...
I just hooked up with an old friend of mine. She shared that her husband had had a severe stroke and was now living in a nursing home, both of their fathers had died on the SAME DAY and her daughter died of a chronic lung disease in January. All this in just a two year time span! It really put some perspective on my life.
Please pray for Jan. She is struggling with her faith and could use your prayers.
Thanks!
IAW
Please pray for Jan. She is struggling with her faith and could use your prayers.
Thanks!
IAW
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Birthing a Game Plan
Hello Fellow Bloggers!
Just a quick note to say that the growth is happenin'! In fact, it's happening so fast that my fiance says all I ever talk about is the e-course I'm taking. It's true. But when you only have 15 minutes of quality time a day, I feel it's my responsibility to let him know that I'm changing. Otherwise, he'll wake up some day next to someone he doesn't even know!
My kids have been gone this week so it will be interesting when they get back to see how I carve out my e-course time. Interestingly enough, my mom has invited them to spend a week at her cabin in mid July so I will again have another good chunk of time with less responsibilities. This is not random. The Lord has arranged it that way. He knows more than anyone that I need room for this growth. He wants to support me in living into my Purpose.
It reminds me, in a sad way, of a client I once had as a social worker. Her husband had shot her in the arm and then shot himself to death in front of the children. You could see the bullet underneath her skin and she explained that the doctor said it would eventually work its way out on its own.
It's the only thing I can think of to describe where I'm at. It's comin' out whether I feel ready or not so I must make room somehow. Scary? Yes. Managable? I think so, though I'm not sure what it will look like exactly. I've had to accomodate a lot of things in my life that weren't planned so I'm sure I can do it again.
I will take a deep breath. I will walk around the block. I will take a bath and soak. Just to slow down and listen. The game plan will come.
IAW
Just a quick note to say that the growth is happenin'! In fact, it's happening so fast that my fiance says all I ever talk about is the e-course I'm taking. It's true. But when you only have 15 minutes of quality time a day, I feel it's my responsibility to let him know that I'm changing. Otherwise, he'll wake up some day next to someone he doesn't even know!
My kids have been gone this week so it will be interesting when they get back to see how I carve out my e-course time. Interestingly enough, my mom has invited them to spend a week at her cabin in mid July so I will again have another good chunk of time with less responsibilities. This is not random. The Lord has arranged it that way. He knows more than anyone that I need room for this growth. He wants to support me in living into my Purpose.
It reminds me, in a sad way, of a client I once had as a social worker. Her husband had shot her in the arm and then shot himself to death in front of the children. You could see the bullet underneath her skin and she explained that the doctor said it would eventually work its way out on its own.
It's the only thing I can think of to describe where I'm at. It's comin' out whether I feel ready or not so I must make room somehow. Scary? Yes. Managable? I think so, though I'm not sure what it will look like exactly. I've had to accomodate a lot of things in my life that weren't planned so I'm sure I can do it again.
I will take a deep breath. I will walk around the block. I will take a bath and soak. Just to slow down and listen. The game plan will come.
IAW
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
