I just hooked up with an old friend of mine. She shared that her husband had had a severe stroke and was now living in a nursing home, both of their fathers had died on the SAME DAY and her daughter died of a chronic lung disease in January. All this in just a two year time span! It really put some perspective on my life.
Please pray for Jan. She is struggling with her faith and could use your prayers.
Thanks!
IAW
Friday, June 25, 2010
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Birthing a Game Plan
Hello Fellow Bloggers!
Just a quick note to say that the growth is happenin'! In fact, it's happening so fast that my fiance says all I ever talk about is the e-course I'm taking. It's true. But when you only have 15 minutes of quality time a day, I feel it's my responsibility to let him know that I'm changing. Otherwise, he'll wake up some day next to someone he doesn't even know!
My kids have been gone this week so it will be interesting when they get back to see how I carve out my e-course time. Interestingly enough, my mom has invited them to spend a week at her cabin in mid July so I will again have another good chunk of time with less responsibilities. This is not random. The Lord has arranged it that way. He knows more than anyone that I need room for this growth. He wants to support me in living into my Purpose.
It reminds me, in a sad way, of a client I once had as a social worker. Her husband had shot her in the arm and then shot himself to death in front of the children. You could see the bullet underneath her skin and she explained that the doctor said it would eventually work its way out on its own.
It's the only thing I can think of to describe where I'm at. It's comin' out whether I feel ready or not so I must make room somehow. Scary? Yes. Managable? I think so, though I'm not sure what it will look like exactly. I've had to accomodate a lot of things in my life that weren't planned so I'm sure I can do it again.
I will take a deep breath. I will walk around the block. I will take a bath and soak. Just to slow down and listen. The game plan will come.
IAW
Just a quick note to say that the growth is happenin'! In fact, it's happening so fast that my fiance says all I ever talk about is the e-course I'm taking. It's true. But when you only have 15 minutes of quality time a day, I feel it's my responsibility to let him know that I'm changing. Otherwise, he'll wake up some day next to someone he doesn't even know!
My kids have been gone this week so it will be interesting when they get back to see how I carve out my e-course time. Interestingly enough, my mom has invited them to spend a week at her cabin in mid July so I will again have another good chunk of time with less responsibilities. This is not random. The Lord has arranged it that way. He knows more than anyone that I need room for this growth. He wants to support me in living into my Purpose.
It reminds me, in a sad way, of a client I once had as a social worker. Her husband had shot her in the arm and then shot himself to death in front of the children. You could see the bullet underneath her skin and she explained that the doctor said it would eventually work its way out on its own.
It's the only thing I can think of to describe where I'm at. It's comin' out whether I feel ready or not so I must make room somehow. Scary? Yes. Managable? I think so, though I'm not sure what it will look like exactly. I've had to accomodate a lot of things in my life that weren't planned so I'm sure I can do it again.
I will take a deep breath. I will walk around the block. I will take a bath and soak. Just to slow down and listen. The game plan will come.
IAW
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Taming the Fire Hose
Hello Universe,
I always feel funny at my greeting because I only have one follower so far. Hi Jim! So today I am posting to the Universe with faith that my messages will begin to land.
I have recently found the e-course I've been looking for (Kelly Rae Robert's Flying Lessons) as I have sat in the fruit bowl like an overripe banana. As I suspected, it has unearthed the most tremendous flow of self-discovery and truth that I have ever experienced. It has been such a catalyst for me that I feel a bit like the BP oil spill. I'm comin' out whether the world is ready for me or not. Whether I am ready for me or not. (I am not. But, according to Kelly, nobody ever is.) So then how do I handle the simultaneous eruptions that are exploding from within me? A book. A column. Painting. Photography. Blogging. And that's just to name a few.
How do you control the flow of the BP oil spill? It is bigger than anyone can imagine or accept. And it doesn't care that it's killing all the fish. The answer? You suck up as much as you can and divert the rest. Much like the oil spill, I am not able to quit my job to try and do ALL of these things at once. In fact, if I really think about it I don't even want to. I want to savor every step and absorb every drop along the way and schedule the rest for later.
So how do you get a fire hose to trickle like a sprinkler so that you don't kill the flowers? The answer: there has to be a place where the overflow gets directed. There also has to be a very strong nozzle to divert it where it needs to go. Today I will purchase my Personal Growth calendar. It will have a page for a long list where the excess water can be diverted. Each time I develop an idea, a task, a goal, I will write it down. I will then prioritize the list and transfer it to the calendar. I will write in pencil so I can change things as my priorities shift.
Truth is, I like the fire hose. It feels good to get unstopped. I want so badly to let it flow and not have to restrict it anymore. But I know that if I do it will kill the flowers. So I have to learn to manage my dreams not keep them in. I am managing them so that they can live, flourish and blossom. Though it feels a lot like holding them in, in reality I am letting them leak out. I am no longer thinking about my purpose without following it. Instead, I am taking small steps in order to let the flowers bloom. Maybe I will find a photo of a very delicate looking flower and tape it to my kitchen window to remind me to tread with care. To tend the flowers not kill them with my hose.
I will buy a plant today. One that requires a little water every day. And as I water it each morning, I will take note of the nice, soft soil, look for new sprouts and pluck dead leaves that impede its growth. It will need to be an indoor plant so I can tend it all year round.
I have no idea which plant it will be. I am completely open and excited to see what it is. It might be something totally unexpected. But I will learn to love this plant over time and see what makes it beautiful - all the things that I have missed when I have passed it before. I may even give it a name, change its name, make it my pen name, or stick with the original name ... I get to decide.
I had a cactus once. It died because I didn't water it enough. I replaced it with an African Violet which was such a fun plant to watch because it could go from totally dead to teaming with life within a day of watering. This time, I will look for something that is forgiving like the violet, yet grows very fast. I know that at times I may water my new plant too much and it will yellow. Other times, I may neglect it and dry leaves may appear. As it grows I will need to re-pot it or it will die for lack of soil. But I will keep trying until I get it down. Even if I have to buy a new plant.
I always feel funny at my greeting because I only have one follower so far. Hi Jim! So today I am posting to the Universe with faith that my messages will begin to land.
I have recently found the e-course I've been looking for (Kelly Rae Robert's Flying Lessons) as I have sat in the fruit bowl like an overripe banana. As I suspected, it has unearthed the most tremendous flow of self-discovery and truth that I have ever experienced. It has been such a catalyst for me that I feel a bit like the BP oil spill. I'm comin' out whether the world is ready for me or not. Whether I am ready for me or not. (I am not. But, according to Kelly, nobody ever is.) So then how do I handle the simultaneous eruptions that are exploding from within me? A book. A column. Painting. Photography. Blogging. And that's just to name a few.
How do you control the flow of the BP oil spill? It is bigger than anyone can imagine or accept. And it doesn't care that it's killing all the fish. The answer? You suck up as much as you can and divert the rest. Much like the oil spill, I am not able to quit my job to try and do ALL of these things at once. In fact, if I really think about it I don't even want to. I want to savor every step and absorb every drop along the way and schedule the rest for later.
So how do you get a fire hose to trickle like a sprinkler so that you don't kill the flowers? The answer: there has to be a place where the overflow gets directed. There also has to be a very strong nozzle to divert it where it needs to go. Today I will purchase my Personal Growth calendar. It will have a page for a long list where the excess water can be diverted. Each time I develop an idea, a task, a goal, I will write it down. I will then prioritize the list and transfer it to the calendar. I will write in pencil so I can change things as my priorities shift.
Truth is, I like the fire hose. It feels good to get unstopped. I want so badly to let it flow and not have to restrict it anymore. But I know that if I do it will kill the flowers. So I have to learn to manage my dreams not keep them in. I am managing them so that they can live, flourish and blossom. Though it feels a lot like holding them in, in reality I am letting them leak out. I am no longer thinking about my purpose without following it. Instead, I am taking small steps in order to let the flowers bloom. Maybe I will find a photo of a very delicate looking flower and tape it to my kitchen window to remind me to tread with care. To tend the flowers not kill them with my hose.
I will buy a plant today. One that requires a little water every day. And as I water it each morning, I will take note of the nice, soft soil, look for new sprouts and pluck dead leaves that impede its growth. It will need to be an indoor plant so I can tend it all year round.
I have no idea which plant it will be. I am completely open and excited to see what it is. It might be something totally unexpected. But I will learn to love this plant over time and see what makes it beautiful - all the things that I have missed when I have passed it before. I may even give it a name, change its name, make it my pen name, or stick with the original name ... I get to decide.
I had a cactus once. It died because I didn't water it enough. I replaced it with an African Violet which was such a fun plant to watch because it could go from totally dead to teaming with life within a day of watering. This time, I will look for something that is forgiving like the violet, yet grows very fast. I know that at times I may water my new plant too much and it will yellow. Other times, I may neglect it and dry leaves may appear. As it grows I will need to re-pot it or it will die for lack of soil. But I will keep trying until I get it down. Even if I have to buy a new plant.
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